One Generation

This week I was thinking about connectedness, especially within a family.   Strange topic I admit but recently I’ve been researching grandfather Conolly and it got me thinking about how easily families are split and seemingly go their separate ways.

To be honest I’ve been feeling a little like that particularly with both mum and dad being gone, and seemingly no uniting factor for us to be together.  I realize it’s the circle of life but with me living in Canada I feel even more isolated from my siblings than ever before.   Perhaps it’s also a symptom of once again being on my own, although arguably having Zach & Sami each week takes much of that away it’s not quite the same as having a family day-to-day.

My sister Glenda's wedding - 1969
Back row: Gary, Glenda, Mum, Laurie
Front: James & TW

Mum was quite removed from her family as they were spread from Mackay in North Queensland , to Sydney and even further south to Melbourne which is “as the crow flies” over 2000 km from Clunes where I grew up.   I’m pretty sure I met mum’s siblings - Dorothy, Bob, Graeme, Marjorie & Nora at some point during my life, but only have memories of Auntie Nora and Uncle Frank as a young boy who lived in Melbourne.   

Mum used to talk mostly about her dad (grandfather Conolly) and occasionally about her two brothers who she idolized, but not a lot about the others.   We didn’t have the means to go visit so they just grew apart…

And I suppose its rather easy to get caught up in the romanticized version of a story that your mum told you about your grandfather who you never met (he died the year before I was born), and although he sounds like a cool guy who had an eye for adventure he’ll always have a larger than life persona in my mind and never be just an “average guy”.   Story telling at its finest I suppose – thanks mum. 

Dad on the other hand didn’t have a whole lot of time for his family, I’m not sure if it was because mum didn’t get along with them or that honestly he didn’t particularly care for them.   I always felt there was a level of animosity and hostility between dad and his siblings whenever they visited which was thankfully somewhat rare.   

TW's 21st birthday - April 1980
L-R:  Laurie, James, Gary, Glenda & TW

It was one of those households where the everyday was a bit of a screaming match generally about something but nothing in particular if you know what I mean, but significantly heightened whenever dad’s siblings came visiting.   Mum always felt that they wanted something from dad and she let dad know, in no uncertain terms how she felt about them and their motives.  Yeah quite the family really…

A ringing endorsement of family values I suppose although for the most part me and my siblings get along quite well, it’s just the sheer distance that really separates us and hinders the ongoing contact.  Yes, I’m guilty of not connecting with them just as much as they are with me, so I take responsibility for my lack of action on that part.   Of course I could make all sorts of excuses about time zones, busy work schedules, travel, juggling kids schedules…arguably they all play a part albeit minor. 

I also now realize that there is a high likelihood that Zach and Sami will not know their 15 first cousins in Australia.  Sure they might know names, but without any real relationship it’s going to be hard to really get to know my side of the family back home.

Just like I have no real insights into my mum or dad’s siblings, they’ll likely be the same – just a name and a couple of stories but that’s about it.   Its sort of sad to imagine that I’ve essentially become the “Canadian” side of the family now, and that when Zach and Sami start having a family there will be little to no connection to Australia remaining…

Very sad indeed!

So my remedy is to both write and tell stories about my family, some of which you've already read in my blogs but also in the conversations I've had with the Zach and Sami about their family back in Australia.

Feb 2011 - TW, Glenda, James & Laurie
(Unfortunately Gary was unable to be there)

When my dad was in a coma and literally hours away from dying my siblings and I were gathered in his hospital room awaiting the inevitable (horrible experience and not recommended for anyone!)    Anyway after being in the room for close to 48 hours (not quite non-stop but certainly close) we were all getting a little punchy with the lack of sleep and the enormity of the situation at hand.

I asked my siblings what was the best story they had about dad and before long we were excitedly retelling one story after the other and although dad was a very private person we had enough stories about him to last for two to three hours easily.   

Clearly not very proper when you're in the "dying room" as they called it, but it was a wonderful connection and celebration of his life that we shared with each other.  I can't tell you the last time I laughed so hard nor felt closer to my siblings...it was such a contrast of emotions - sad and wonderful all at the same time.

I've shared many of those stories with Zach and Sami, and although they may not appreciate them today hopefully as they get older they will.   I also hoping that they feel some level of connectedness to Australia and my crazy family that inhabit its shores through my storytelling.  ☺ 

Fly me to the moon

Do you know that feeling of getting home after a long trip... that warm feeling of being surrounded by familiar things and a regular routine?    After being away for the past two weeks (this week I’ve been in Europe) I’m definitely looking forward to being home and most of all sleeping in my own bed (for a change) tomorrow night.

The beach at Kaanapali (Maui) - hard to
believe its just a week ago...

In Hawaii Zach, Sami and I had a single room with two beds and a couch, and although I would normally sleep in one of the beds, Sami had a nasty cold and was feeling a bit under the weather so we traded off sleeping on the couch (Sami) and me on the floor, which to be honest felt pretty good on my recovering back as it had been a bit sore after the recent move.

Unfortunately after arriving back in Toronto I had less than four hours before I had to be repacked and leave for the airport and my overnight flight to London.   Yes, count em’ – two back-to-back overnight flights in a row.   The first flight last Saturday night with the kids from Maui to Vancouver (five hours), so little sleep in our economy seats before landing early in Vancouver and then catching a morning flight to Toronto which (another five hours) landed mid afternoon.  

Now add a short lay-over (four hours) to get home from the airport, drop the kids off with Jodie (my ex), unpack, do a load of wash, repack and then catch a taxi back to the airport before boarding my second “redeye” flight to London (seven hours) in two days. 

Earlier this week in the Netherlands -
the town hall in Delft

Needless to say I was pretty exhausted when I arrived into London early Monday morning, unfortunately for me I had to be in the local office later in the morning, so after a quick visit to the hotel to drop off my bag and grab a quick shower I grabbed another taxi and finally arrived into our UK office around 10:30 am.

Hawaii to London is ten time zones difference (essentially 10 hours), but the night we flew back to Canada was the night Daylight savings time was initiated (just to make it interesting!)

Since my arrival into London on Monday, I had a Tuesday night flight to Amsterdam (additional time zone change of one hour) – so now 11 hours difference from Hawaii, before flying to Madrid (Spain) on Wednesday night.  

I spent another hectic day in Delft, which is just outside Amsterdam primarily meeting with our Corporate CEO, although I did have an hour to spend exploring the old city of Delft with my trusty camera before heading back to the airport and my next leg to Madrid (Spain).

One thing to know about the Spanish culture is that you eat at very different times than most of the rest of the world.  For example after my meeting with one of our business partners yesterday morning we adjourned for lunch at close to 3:00 pm, then went onto our customer meeting scheduled for 5:00 pm.   Finishing that I came back to my hotel and then met up with my local business contacts for dinner at 9:00 pm.   We took our time to make our way to the restaurant as many of them don’t really open or begin serving dinner until 10:30 pm at the earliest.  

Earlier today in Madrid, Spain

 Finally getting to bed at 1:00 am, which is considered an early night in Spain after politely refusing to kick-on to another bar for a further nightcap and feeling a little bit of a "light weight" to be honest. 

Yeah, so it’s been that kind of week…pretty much upside down with my sleep and feeling just a tad out of sorts with both my sleep and eating patterns.  J    To say I’m looking forward to getting home tomorrow and sleeping in my own bed is a huge understatement!

Just one final hurdle to overcome – my first flight tomorrow is set for 6:00 am from Madrid to Frankfurt, with a 30 minute commute to the airport and having to be at the airport for my continental flight to Germany at least 90 min prior to departure, realistically I have to leave the hotel at 4:00 am, so a 3:30 – 3:45 am wake up call will be required (can you say “rub salt into the wound”).   What the hell - I might as well be totally sleep deprived!

Has it been worth it I hear you ask?   Definitely!   My week with the kids in Hawaii was unforgettable (as always when we're traveling and exploring together), and although this week has been a whirlwind European visit it’s been extremely worthwhile from a business perspective. 

Earlier today as I walked around
Madrid with my trusty camera in hand...

I was fortunate enough to meet with two business partners and a long time customer here in Spain over these two days.  No matter how much a telephone/conference call is useful from the day-to-day running of the business, having the opportunity to meet someone face-to-face is vital to getting to know your customers and partners and indeed building a relationship.   Especially when there are different cultures and languages involved.  

It’s sometimes difficult to understand and appreciate the differences unless you’re immersed in the cultures (both from a country and company perspective) and so that’s why I love these opportunities to visit with our partners and customers globally.  

Clearly I’ve found a job that mixes my love of travel and business but also one that gives me the flexibility around Zach and Sami’s schedules. 

Now if I can only find a restaurant tonight that will serve me dinner before the 10:30 pm timeslot, preferably somewhere close to the hotel here in central Madrid – that will be the true test of my resourcefulness don't you think?  J

Not far from the tree...

I can remember nights where my mum would stay up all night long reading a book from cover to cover…her tired response in the morning when I was getting ready for school was “I just couldn’t put it down”.  As you can imagine mum was a big reader; she always had a book on the go, although rarely two.   

I'd sometimes come home from school to find her perched at the kitchen table, book in hand and cigarette burning in the ashtray on the table beside her.   The room was a cloud of blue smoke as she chain-smoked her way through her books – day or night.

My sister Glenda is a bit the same way, some might call her a book worm (well perhaps not to her face), but in reality she is exactly the same as mum used to be when it comes to reading.   She always has a book close at hand and ready to dive into at a moments notice and similarly to mum willing to read all night if necessary, albeit without the cigarettes.   Yes, we were all put of smoking at a very early age!

Surprisingly my earliest memories were not of mum reading me stories but my dad. I rarely saw dad read a book in his whole life, unless it was a bedtime story to my younger brother James and I.   Dad’s reading skills were poor at best given his limited education but isn’t it interesting that he was the one that I remember reading to me as a young child.   In fact, I can still remember my favorite story that we’d beg dad to read – "Mike Mulligan andhis Steam Shovel" - that 1939 classic!

My favorite storybook growing up - the one that
dad used to read me as a child...over and over again! 

I guess I’ve also shared a love of books and reading with mum and Glenda over the years, although I do draw the line at reading all night long.  J When I moved recently I was rather surprised at the number of boxes of books I had to pack from my over burdened bookshelves.  

Just this week on March break I reread two books from my collection that I uncovered during the move.  Even though I had read them sometime ago it was like visiting with old friends… 

So when we arrived into Lahaina (Maui) earlier this week, both Zach and Sami were on my case about needing to go to the local Barnes & Noble bookstore from the moment we arrived.  Even though they had packed books for the journey to Hawaii both seemed to have finished their respective books on the plane and were literally chomping at the bit to get to the bookstore.

From an early age both of them loved to read, I still have photos of them as little toddlers sitting quietly on the floor book in hand and slowly and deliberately turning the pages like someone savoring every page…still makes me smile when I think of them at that age and their love of books, especially since now they’re teenagers (actually Sami acts like a twenty something rather than a 12 year old – a parents burden I suppose and clearly a story for another day).  J 

One of Zach's choices of reading
material this week...

Within minutes of entering the local Lahaina Barnes & Noble both had a handful of books in tow.  I had set the limit to just one book each otherwise we’d have to ship a crate of books back home.   Zach in his typical style made the argument that his two books only came to the paltry sum of $15 combined…I took a look at the titles and decided that perhaps I should reconsider.  

“The Prince and other writings” by Niccolo Machiavelli, and “David Copperfield” by Charles Dickens…   Quite the reading material for a 14 year old boy on holidays don't you think?

Hhhmmm, his arguments centered around reading the classics was invaluable to expanding his mind… damn that boy is good!    “Fine” I relented, now it was Sami’s turn to try and finesse me into buying her more that one title.

Although I’m not sure she had much of an argument to stand on as she had chosen “Pretty Little Liars” by Sarah Sheppard.    Shrewd if nothing more she didn’t argue the point too much, but did elicit an agreement from me that if she did in fact finish the book I would take her back to buy her another before we left for home.

Well we made it all the way to day five before me having to take her back to Barnes & Noble so she could take me up on my promise of buying her a second book, and yes, it was the next in the series.  

Sami's book of choice this March
break - to coincide with the TV series

Interesting how both of them know how to get around me so easily especially when it comes to acquiring a new book – although as they’ll attest there are certain things that I don’t budge on no matter what.   I suppose I’ve trained them well when it comes to books and almost impossible to say no to, but what intrigues me the most is how much they genuinely love to read and how insatiable they are when it comes to reading.

Sami still likes me to read her a story at bedtime, which I genuinely love to do.  Over the years we’ve read all sorts of books, although recently she’s getting to the point where she wants to read to me.   I’ll never complain about spending quality time with her especially over a good story, but it’s funny how the tables have turned.

I’m confident now that we share a life long love of books and reading in general.  I can see it in there eyes when they enquire about an expedition to the local bookstore – “just for a look” mind you… I have to admit I still get a little excited about a trip to the bookstore and the limitless stories waiting to be read.

  

I truly believe the love of reading is a "gift that last a lifetime"!

p.s.  My book this week was a relatively new one by John Irving – “In One Person” and I'm loving it!  

March Break

I’m sitting on the plane with Zach and Sami jetting our way to Vancouver on the first leg of our journey to Maui (Hawaii).   Vancouver is almost five hours flight time from Toronto, with a couple of hour layover in Van we then board another five hour flight directly to Maui arriving around 9:30 pm Hawaiian time this evening, which will put it at about 3:00 am EST.   I’m guessing we’ll be exhausted!

After a crazy week of work and settling into our new place (its been a bit of a whirlwind to be honest) we can all finally begin to relax…actually I’ll be able to relax more when I land in Vancouver and can send all of my work email that churned through in the first hour after takeoff :-)

Destination - Lahaina

 So, Maui you say?   Sort of an usual story of how this all came about as Maui definitely wasn’t my first choice for our March break.  Actually when I asked the kids in early December where they’d like to go for our week at March I initially suggested London and Paris as neither of them had been, but both at various times had suggested it as a destination for one of our trips.

I thought they jump at the chance, but they both seemed a little indifferent until Zach said that he actually preferred to get a little sunshine vs. more grey skies in Europe at the time of year (sensible to a fault that lad!).   Being the dad that I am I pressed them on Europe, but still not so keen.  “How about Hawaii?” asked Zach - and in typical dad fashion said “we’ll see”.   Isn’t it funny how the voice in your head say’s OMG – your dad would have said that!

Being the pragmatist that I am (yes, my words not yours) I wanted to check both availability and cost at that time of year as many airlines are notorious for putting up their prices just in time for school holidays.   Not so nice for families but I suppose it’s no different that fuel price being increased around the same time of year for the very same reason.   Free economy at its best… or worst!

With all my air travel over the years I still have a relatively large number of airline frequent flyer points so I wanted to see if I could use them, and then what the actual cost of the tickets would be given the myriad number of taxes associated with “free tickets”.

I was floored when I checked availability and dates for flying in and out of London Heathrow for three economy points tickets.   Holy crap, the cost was $2100 for the three of us to fly on points tickets (unbelievable number of taxes to be sure).  With the cost of our tickets being $700 per person (and that’s just to get on the plane) it mad it a very expensive travel proposition.   Especially when you add on top eight days of lodgings (notoriously expensive in London), food, entertainment etc I wasn’t going to get much change out of $6500 - $7000 for the week.  

On the beach in Maui

 Let’s try “plan B” I thought to myself.   Hhhmmm – what’s the most expensive place in Hawaii?    It had to be Maui, after all it’s the most exotic name of all when you even breath the word Hawaii…

This is the part where I held my breath as I keyed in the dates and locale…all in the cost was $500 or about $167 per person.   Wow!   Not sure why given that it’s two five hour flights vs. a 7 hour flight to London.    It didn’t take too much convincing that this was the way to go – but breaking it to the kids would be interesting, as I knew they really wanted to go there all along – Hhhmmm…cue the “evil laugh”!

I started off by telling them how much the cost of the tickets was to London (trying to feign my disappointment), and that it was just going to be too much money for a week in London.   I could see they were a little disappointed but said was okay…damn it they were ruining the storyline by being so accommodating (I guess they’re good kids so clearly understandable).

Not able to hold it back any longer, I said that we were going to Hawaii instead, but not just any place in Hawaii – Maui!    Huge smiles broke across their faces as they showered me with hugs (this was the best part by far!).

Sami has made it quite clear to me and Zach that she wants to relax and not have to traipse around the island looking at monuments and doing touristy stuff more than absolutely necessary, as she wants to go to the beach and pool and take it easy.   I assured her that I only had a couple of things that I really wanted to do, but otherwise I was with her in terms of making this relaxing week.

A week of first for Zach & Sami!

 In addition the kids have already been researching surf lessons for us all at the local beach so my best guess is that it’s going to be quite the week of firsts!  

Now, that being said my treat for the week is a helicopter flight over Maui and Molokai (nearby island), scheduled for Monday morning.  I’ve never been in a helicopter so definitely looking forward to that, with my camera in hand I’m hoping to capture some great shots.   (Okay, this actually might offset the cost of London if you factor in my treat, but c’mon its Maui after all!)

Stay tuned – it should be an awesome week in paradise :-)